Trapped in a Room

A couple of weeks ago, one of our associate pastors gave an illustration that resonated with me. I'll probably never remember the sermon, but I'll always remember the illustration and have already repeated it to several people (and maybe modified it just a little :).

Whenever you are walking through a trial (and don't we know that sometimes we LIVE in the trial and feel like we are not even walking through it!), sometimes, it feels like we are in a high room somewhere with the door locked and we feel like we will NEVER GET OUT IT and we FEEL ALL ALONE!   Then suddenly, we see God climbing a ladder to the window of our room and we may even think, "look He's coming to rescue me from this trial."  When God reaches the window, he steps inside and rather than rescuing us, he sits down beside us and stays there with us.  We may want the trial to go away but sometimes He wants us to see that He is near and it's only through the trial that we can experience this nearness of God.

This helps us to truly understand what it means to when God says, Fear Not for I am WITH YOU!  No matter the trial, we don't have a God who does not understand our situations nor does He leave us to flounder around in our messes; but rather, we have a God who is relational, who sits with us and holds us in the palm of His hand   How personal is that?  How loving and kind is that?  It's something I've known and been told a thousand times since I was a child but walking in the middle of a mess, it's a great reminder that he's in the room with me!

Who Am I

How does five years pass without making a post?  There are so many excuses.  Too much time on

Facebook, tired at night after work, losing a parent, helping with another elderly parent and maybe just the feeling of defeat of "feeling like" I don't have anything to offer as I'm not the model parent and don't have model children.  It's the last excuse that is troublesome. When we become discouraged and defeated, then we become ineffective and complacent to not doing anything.  So I've rearranged some things in my life and want to get back to the gifts that I believe God has gifted me with and one of those is the gift of encouragement, the gift of looking at things half full instead of half empty and the gift of coming along side of someone who needs their chin lifted up.  My identity is not in what I do or what I have accomplished (or my failures) which would mean for me an arrogant spirit but rather I'm a child of God's.  This morning in church, the lyrics to "I Am Who You Say I Am" resonated with my soul and I've been asking God a lot to use me and speak through me and He reminded me that this is one of those ways.  So today, I'm recommitting to writing about experiences, successes, failures and anything else God commits to my heart about parenting outside of the box and I'll leave you with the lyrics to this song.  I felt the Holy Spirit lifting my chin to remind me who I am in Him and I pray that you too will have your chin lifted up as you navigate these difficult days of parenting.

Who am I that the highest King
Would welcome me?
I was lost but He brought me in
Oh His love for me
Oh His love for me

Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am

I am chosen
Not forsaken
I am who You say I am
You are for me
Not against me
I am who You say I am

Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
In my Father’s house
There’s a place for me
I’m a child of God
Yes I am

(Hillsong)

Leave It!

I love this command that I can give my dog.  I can lay a piece of food down near him and point my finger at him and say "leave it."  He just sits there waiting for word of "okay,' before he leaps to gulp it down.  I've used this command for other things, like when he wants to go for the cat's food, I say, "leave it!."  It gets his attention and distracts him from his instant gratification.  In our human world of parenting, sometimes I hear the voice in my head saying "leave it!"  Do you worry about something with your kids and it rolls around in your head and heart and a troubled spirit is the result?  Usually in the morning, I can take all my worries and put them in a nice mental box and hand them to God and say "you take them; you want them."  Then throughout the day, I'm tempted to take back one of those worries and it's then I hear the voice "Leave It!"  I think it's God's Spirit reminding me that he's got it covered and just "leave it" with him.  "Leave it" has become one of my breathe prayers lately.  I catch myself worrying about something and I simply pray, "leave it."  It's God and mine's short conversation that He wants it and doesn't want me carrying it around.  What is it that you can "leave" with Him?

I'm Tired!

Some days you are just tired.  I’m that way today.  I’m just tired.  Tired of thinking.  Tired of planning ahead.  Tired of redirecting.  Tired of refereeing.  Tired of parenting.  I am short on energy and high on emotion. My thoughts that usually I can gain control over are taunting me.  “Why is life hard?”  “Why does parenting have to be difficult?” “Why am I suddenly aware of people’s stares and comments?” “Why can’t I see any fruit from some of my labor?” I need a parent “time-out” of life! Is there somewhere you can go for refreshment?  Is there a call you can make to a trusted friend to allow you to ooze out the overflow you are experiencing? Is there a room you can lock yourself into for 30 minutes for some quiet time?  When I’m at my wits’ end, my mind circles around verses in the Bible that penetrate my soul and provide some solace.  I don’t have time to retreat, but I do have time to allow scripture to settle in my heart.  What scripture do you cling to?   What scripture resonates within your soul?  Maybe it’s not even scripture but a saying or motto that you live by and have to be ‘retooled” to.  For me a friend shared a verse from the Bible this week and it’s become my new favorite these past couple of days.  Psalm 94:18-19 “When I said, ‘My foot is slipping!”, your love, O Lord, supported me.  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” I believe the Bible is truth and God provides it so we can experience His Peace amidst unsettled times.

Words...

“You’ll never guess what your child did today” was NOT a positive phrase that was conveyed to me as my preschooler attended classes.  In fact, those dreaded words took on life as a sword that would cut down to the depth of my already severed soul.  While other mothers received words of affirmation and praise, the words spoken to me caused me to doubt and question myself and my child.  Oh to be a young mother, unsure in your ways and then seemingly scorned by those around you.  The sickness in my heart robbed me of so much joy.  Did I need to be concerned about my child?  Absolutely.  Did I need to let it dictate my attitude towards my child and be consumed by the worry that always followed?  No, I shouldn’t have allowed it to swallow me up.   Learning to let go of the negative and look for opportunities to create positive enjoyable moments is something that has to be intentional.  It’s an exercise that takes practice when you find yourself with a child that can’t be squeezed into society’s PerfectBox.  So practice today the exercise of letting go of the negative and creating the positive.  Remember it does take practice!  And here are some words to hold onto as you get started “You are a GREAT MOM and you have a GREAT CHILD!”

Let Your Light Shine

If knowledge is power, then why am I afraid of knowing?   Fear is like dark shadows that linger behind doors and can creep into our lives when we are observing our children’s challenges.  Sometimes by “not knowing,” it gives us a false sense of security that just maybe, a challenge doesn’t really exist.  Such were the feelings of my friend this weekend when she expressed a mix bag of emotions.  On one hand having her child evaluated brought some sense of relief that some of the issues that she had observed were not her imagination.  On the other hand, to have a professional identify some potential challenges brought fear and anxiety to her heart.  The dark shadows of fear can only be expelled by the light of knowledge.  Realizing that a challenge may be ahead empowers us to take control of possible early interventions that can keep the challenges from growing into uglier future situations.  It also gives us opportunity to bathe our child in prayer with more specific detail.  We as parents must lay aside possible personal fears and tackle head on issues with our children.  After all, it’s really their welfare that’s of utmost importance and our feelings can be dealt with later, not delaying the best possible care for our children.  So let your light shine… on your child!

The Eyes have It!

Watching life through another mother's eyes can lead to distorted vision!  I look through one friend's eyes and she is so proud of the athletic achievements accomplished by her son.  I look through another friend's eyes and bragging is oozing from her lips about her overachiever daughter whose grades are next to perfect.  And then, I look through my own eyes and I don't see anything worth being proud about..at first.  My eyes are blurry, my vision distorted.  I need to focus in on my world, however imperfect it is and it is.  There are things that I am proud of howbeit ever so small.  In my world, baby steps forward at any age is great reason for celebration.  My baby steps would go unnoticed by most moms; they are normal expectations that happen without thinking but in my world these small steps make this mom celebrate and PROUD.  So I am proud of small things like dishes off the counter and into the sink (we haven't accomplished dishwasher yet), a towel hung in the right place, laundry that ends up in the basket (sometimes) and shoes off before hitting the carpet.  Not very exciting I know, no homeruns, no awards banquet, no academic scholarships.  Being in my world means that sometimes the baby steps are only celebrated by me and God because no one else would care or understand.  When I look through my own eyes and gaze, I am proud.